I work at the community garden.
Which revision most improves the sentence by adding description?
I like to work at the community garden because it has a multitude of things growing there.
Sometimes I work at the community garden since it is nearby and beneficial to everyone in the community.
There are plenty of vegetables, flowers, and plants at the community garden where I work.
The mixed aroma of spicy garlic and sweet roses tickles my nose when I work at the community garden.
The Correct Answer and Explanation is :
The revision that most improves the sentence by adding description is:
“The mixed aroma of spicy garlic and sweet roses tickles my nose when I work at the community garden.”
Explanation:
This revision enhances the sentence by providing sensory details, specifically relating to smell. Adding the description of the “mixed aroma of spicy garlic and sweet roses” allows the reader to better imagine the experience of being in the garden. The sensory language engages the reader’s senses, creating a more vivid and immersive picture of the setting.
Here’s a breakdown of why this revision stands out:
- Sensory Detail (Smell): The use of smell, an often underused sense in writing, adds depth to the sentence. The “mixed aroma” description invites the reader to imagine a specific scent, making the experience more tangible and personal.
- Imagery and Emotion: Describing the smell as a mix of “spicy garlic” and “sweet roses” evokes a feeling of the natural world in action—fresh, lively, and contrasting. This combination suggests a vibrant garden that is full of life and diversity, which makes the work there more enjoyable.
- Engagement with the Reader: The phrase “tickles my nose” provides a playful and engaging element to the writing. It brings the sensory experience to life, making it feel more immediate and real to the reader.
By contrast, the other revisions, while informative, don’t add as much descriptive detail. For example, the first revision, “I like to work at the community garden because it has a multitude of things growing there,” provides some information but lacks sensory details or emotional engagement. Similarly, the second revision offers a practical reason for working at the garden, but it is more functional than descriptive. The third revision lists the types of things growing in the garden but lacks the immersive quality that sensory details provide.
In summary, the fourth revision stands out because it brings the scene to life through vivid sensory language, making the sentence more engaging and descriptive.