Read the sentence.
I work at the community garden.
Which revision most improves the sentence by adding description?
I like to work at the community garden because it has a multitude of things growing there.
Sometimes I work at the community garden since it is nearby and beneficial to everyone in the community.
There are plenty of vegetables, flowers, and plants at the community garden where I work.
The mixed aroma of spicy garlic and sweet roses tickles my nose when I work at the community garden.
The Correct Answer and Explanation is:
The most improved sentence by adding description is:
“The mixed aroma of spicy garlic and sweet roses tickles my nose when I work at the community garden.”
Explanation:
This sentence adds rich sensory details that vividly enhance the description of the community garden, making it more engaging and immersive. Let’s break down why this revision is the best choice:
- Sensory Details: The revision incorporates sensory elements, specifically the “mixed aroma” of garlic and roses. This appeals to the sense of smell, adding an extra layer of detail that helps the reader visualize and almost “experience” the environment. Sensory language is powerful because it allows the reader to feel more connected to the scene.
- Evocative Imagery: Descriptions like “spicy garlic” and “sweet roses” evoke strong imagery. Garlic has a distinctive, sharp smell, while roses are often associated with sweetness and freshness. The juxtaposition of these contrasting scents gives a more dynamic portrayal of the garden. By focusing on the scent, the sentence takes a more nuanced approach to describing the garden, going beyond just a simple observation of the space.
- Emotional Engagement: The phrase “tickles my nose” personifies the scent, making the experience feel more personal and inviting. It suggests that the garden is not just a place of work, but an environment that engages the senses and brings joy. This emotional connection enhances the overall impact of the sentence.
Why Other Options Are Less Effective:
- Option 1: “I like to work at the community garden because it has a multitude of things growing there.” This sentence is more factual than descriptive. It provides information, but lacks sensory engagement or vivid imagery, making it less evocative than the correct choice.
- Option 2: “Sometimes I work at the community garden since it is nearby and beneficial to everyone in the community.” This sentence adds some context but lacks sensory or emotional depth. It provides a reason for working at the garden but doesn’t describe the garden itself in a way that draws the reader in.
- Option 3: “There are plenty of vegetables, flowers, and plants at the community garden where I work.” This sentence adds more details about what is growing, but it is still quite general. It doesn’t provide specific sensory details or evoke a strong feeling about the garden.
In conclusion, the revised sentence that mentions the “mixed aroma” adds the most description because it uses sensory language and vivid imagery to create a more engaging and detailed portrayal of the community garden.