Many of us are poor listeners because
a. the brain can process information at least three times as fast as people talk.
b. we tend to “tune out” speakers whose ideas run counter to our own.
c. we would rather talk than listen.
d. All answer choices are correct
The correct answer and explanation is :
The correct answer is d. All answer choices are correct.
Here’s a breakdown of why all three options contribute to why many people are poor listeners:
a. The brain can process information at least three times as fast as people talk.
Our brains have the capacity to process information much faster than people can speak. While the average speaking rate is around 125-150 words per minute, the brain can process information at a much faster rate—up to 400-500 words per minute. This difference creates a gap where our minds wander, leading us to lose focus or mentally “tune out” during conversations. This phenomenon is called “thought-speed mismatch” and can make it harder for listeners to stay engaged in what is being said. As we process information too quickly, we may also start thinking ahead, anticipating what the speaker will say next, or even begin to form our own responses, rather than fully absorbing the speaker’s message.
b. We tend to “tune out” speakers whose ideas run counter to our own.
Humans naturally gravitate towards ideas and opinions that align with their own beliefs. When someone presents ideas that challenge or contradict our existing views, it can trigger defensive reactions, causing us to stop listening actively. We might focus more on preparing counterarguments or dismiss the speaker’s points altogether, rather than considering their perspective. This is rooted in cognitive biases such as confirmation bias, where we favor information that confirms our preexisting beliefs, and cognitive dissonance, which makes us uncomfortable when faced with opposing viewpoints.
c. We would rather talk than listen.
For many people, speaking is more comfortable than listening. Conversations often become opportunities for individuals to share their own thoughts, experiences, and opinions, rather than engage deeply with what others are saying. This is driven by a desire for self-expression or a sense of importance in sharing one’s perspective. As a result, active listening, which requires focusing on the speaker, refraining from interrupting, and processing their words thoughtfully, is often sacrificed for the opportunity to speak.
Conclusion
Effective listening requires effort and intentionality. To overcome these obstacles, we need to actively work on being present, managing our biases, and fostering a willingness to absorb new information, even when it challenges our views.