The Correct Answer and Explanation is:
The correct answer is A.
This sentence should be revised to reduce wordiness because it contains several redundant phrases and unnecessarily complex constructions that make it longer than it needs to be. Effective writing is clear and concise, and sentence A fails to meet this standard.
The primary issue lies in a few key areas of the sentence. First, the phrase “is to be expected as necessary” is redundant. If an action is necessary, it is also expected in that context. Using both terms together adds no new information. The writer could simply say it “is necessary” or “is expected.” Second, the phrase “in order to” is a classic example of wordy phrasing. In nearly all cases, it can be replaced with the simpler and more direct word “to” without changing the meaning. Finally, the sentence mentions “businesses” at both the beginning and the end. It states that surveillance occurs “in many businesses” and is used to provide security “for the businesses.” The final phrase is superfluous, as the context already makes it clear who benefits from the security.
In contrast, sentences B and C are much more streamlined. Sentence B uses a clear “but in reality” construction to create a direct contrast. Sentence C uses a participial phrase, “not considering,” to efficiently connect two related ideas. While any sentence can be edited, B and C do not contain the obvious and multiple instances of redundancy found in sentence A.
A revised, more concise version of sentence A might read: “Video surveillance is a necessary security measure in many businesses, including banks and retail stores.” This revision conveys the same information in significantly fewer words, demonstrating how the original was overly wordy.
